[To Couples Getting Married in Their 30s] A message from a marriage planner and Ringi adviser with 40 years of married life experience

[To Couples Getting Married in Their 30s] From a Marriage-Life-Planner with 40 years of married life experience

Family photo of Dr. Tokuko Ando, advisor of Ringi, an AI app for happier marriage and romantic relationship

When adult couples in their 30s take the step toward marriage and raising children for the first time, they encounter unexpected events that are not described in school textbooks, and many also concern about work and finances. At such moments, the words of an experienced Marriage-Life-Planner with 40 years of married life experience may be very insightful.

Getting into the interview

The following is an interview with Noriko Ando, a Marriage-Life-Planner and Ringi adviser . She shared with Ringi her personal story of love, marriage, and lessons she learned and believes the lessons drawn from her life experience can guide the newlyweds reading this blog post in their upcoming new chapter of life. The interviewer shares a common bond with Ando in that they have a wide range of activities and graduated from the same high school. Therefore, this interview felt like Noriko Ando's "special life lecture” for her.

We hope that the content presented on Ringi's blog will help you get back to the essence of what is important for marriage and relationships.

"How we met and fell in love"

About 40 years ago the meeting happened out of the blue. At the time, she wanted to be a musician and was immersed in playing in a band, but after graduating from college she went to work for a company. While Ando was busy working and continuing to play the piano, she was invited to a live music concert in Ikebukuro. She thought it was a little inconvenient time but decided to go to the concert that changed her life. At the time, young Ando couldn't yet imagine a future in which she would marry the bass player.

We played together after the band's performance, and that moment became our “meeting”

When they met again later at a New Year's Eve party, they discovered a lot in common. He liked her so much that he finally confessed his feelings for her on their first date a few days later. She describes the experience as "the feeling of finally meeting a soul mate you couldn't see in the middle of nowhere."

However, it was difficult to find time to spend together. Ando, who was a busy person, and he, who was a bass player, thought that the only way to spend more time together was to live together. However, for traditional reasons, it was difficult to get permission from his parents, who were very strict, and that time was very worrisome.

Nevertheless, things were resolved, and on Valentine's Day the couple finally decided to get married.

The deciding factor that made me want to get married was somewhat different from to become a wife, because I decided that marriage was the best way for us to go. Thus, 40 years ago, we were happily married.

[To Couples Getting Married in Their 30s]: Reason why the marriage planner is glad she got married and her life lessons

We asked Noriko Ando why she is glad she got married and what "lessons" she has learned from her married life. As young married couples, they were both insecure and financially vulnerable, so they didn't dream of the life they have now, but looking back, they found that they'd been happily married for 40 years.

“Reasons why I am glad I got married”

The best reason was to meet my children

When she found out she was pregnant, she was preoccupied financially, but having and raising children was a turning point in her life and work, so things and values changed dramatically. Although she was very upset and confused at the time, she still considers herself lucky to have children.

“My life Lesson #1”

Don't ask the other person to change, change yourself!

Ando did not initially pursue a career as a professor or a business executive, as she does today. She changed herself to be able to have children and support them.

“My life Lesson #2”

Be flexible, be strong, be happy.

These are three words that capture the essence of what she often teaches her students. Here is a brief description of each.

Be flexible:

The method of organizing a career that consists of working for one company for the rest of your life will soon change dramatically. Therefore, it is better to look for a more "flexible" way of working. There is also the possibility of combining several roles and jobs.

Be strong:

Regardless of your family situation, have a strategy, use your head, think well, and work smart.

Be happy:

When making various decisions in your life, not just in your marriage, consider whether you feel happy or not as one of the criteria.

“My life Lesson #3”

Do what you're suited for, not what you're not suited for.

Ando did not initially pursue a career as a professor or a business executive, as she does today. She changed herself to be able to have children and support them.

[To Couples Getting Married in Their 30s]: Marriage-Life-Planner Recommends AI App Ringi

If this app had been available when we were younger, especially when we were going through a serious challenge, I think we would have been able to handle our relationships much more smoothly and carefully.

We live in a wonderful time of digital evolution. I believe we should take full advantage of all the charms of this era. I'm convinced it's a shortcut to happiness.

In 40 years of marriage, there have been days when she and her husband were immensely happy and days when they went through trials. Ups and downs are inevitable in a married couple's relationship. But nowadays technologies are making it possible to support relationships in more convenient ways. Have you tried the AI app to support your marriage during those ups and downs?

With the Ringi AI app, you can easily share your moods with each other and, for example, if you get a notification in the Ringi AI app that your partner is "feeling a little down lately," you can respond accordingly.

Many couples have already tried the Ringi AI app. If you haven't tried it yet, please take a look.

Why not upgrade your relationship with Ringi, an AI app for couples?

Marriage-Life-Planner and Ringi adviser:
Ringi blog writers:

  • Minae Yonemura
  • Yerkezhan Karatayeva