Breaking Down the Barriers of Household Responsibility: 70 Japanese Women Asked What Help They Want From Their Husbands

Marriage is a partnership that requires effort and cooperation from both parties. In Japan, many women often face the problem of balancing work and household chores and childcare, leaving them feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. To better understand what kind of help Japanese women would like to receive from their husbands, Ringi conducted the survey among 70 women.

The online survey consisted of open-ended questions that asked Japanese women to answer what kind of help they would like from their husbands to ease their daily burdens.

Only 25% of the women answered they are not needing the help, and one of the explanations are that they already have enough contribution from their husband.

“None. Because he always helps me.” (47 y.o., company employee (full-time), has children)

“There is no such thing. He helps me with everything.” (55 y.o., housewife, no children)

“There is no such thing. He's been doing well enough.” (47 y.o., company employee (full-time), no children)

“None. I'm getting help.” (44 y.o., housewife, no children)

“Nothing in particular. It's hard to clean up afterwards if he does.” (43 y.o., company employee (full-time), has children)

Household Chores Ranking

The remaining 75% feel the need for their husband's involvement in household chores. Based on women's responses, we identified 8 categories of household chores in which women need their husband's support and ranked.

#1. General cleaning

One of the most common responses was a desire for husbands to help with general cleaning, with nearly 19% of women who would like their husbands to contribute to household chores indicating that they have such a need:

“Cleaning. Because I hate it.” (49 y.o., part-time, has children)

“Cleaning. Because it's hard work.” (42 y.o., part-time, has children)

“Cleaning around the house. It's hard for one person to do the weeding, etc.” (51 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Cleaning. Because I hate it.” (54 y.o., part-time, has children)

“Housework. It's hard to do every day.” (51 y.o., part-time, has children)

“House cleaning & tidying. I'm not very good at it.” (50 y.o., part time, has children)

“Cleaning. It's a tough process.” (54 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Cleaning. I want him to at least clean up his own stuff.” (52 y.o., company employee (full-time), no children)

“Housework. I don't have time for it.” (47 y.o., part-time, has children)

#2. Bath cleaning

One of the cleaning chores mentioned is related to cleaning the bathroom, which was the response of 13% of women who wanted to delegate some of the housework:

“Bathroom cleaning. Because I want him to do it once in a while.” (50 y.o., housewife, no children)

“Cleaning the bathroom. It takes me a long time because I'm short and can reach the bathtub only a few feet away, and I'm also busy preparing dinner at the same time.” (49 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Bathroom ceiling mold removal. I can't reach it.” (55 y.o., part-time, has children)

“Bathroom cleaning. Up to the ceiling” (55 y.o., housewife, no children)

“Cleaning the bath. It takes a lot of energy and the ceiling is high.” (46 y.o., part-time, has children)

“Cleaning the bathroom. Because it always needs to happen every day and he has never done it for me.” (54 y.o., company employee (full-time), has children)

“Bathroom cleaning. Cleaning the bath is such a hassle.” (38 y.o., housewife, has children)

#3. Cooking

Other women wanted their husband to cook for the family as a way to share the housework, 11% of responses:

“Cooking. Because my husband eats more than me.” (54 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Cooking. Because it's delicious.” (39 y.o., part-time, has children)

“Cooking. Sometimes I just don't want to make it myself.” (50 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Cooking. Sometimes I want him to cook for me.” (53 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Cooking. Because I don't like to cook.” (41 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Cooking. Because I want him to know how hard it is to come up with a different menu every day.” (49 y.o., housewife, no children)

#4. Housework that requires physical abilities

The other category was defined as grocery shopping and physically demanding work that women themselves struggle to cope with - 11% of responses:

“Shopping. Because my bag is pretty heavy.“ (51 y.o., other, no children)

“Shopping. It's a hassle.” (46 y.o., company employee (full-time), has children)

“Carrying heavy things. Very hard.” (55 y.o.,housewife, no children)

“Cutting down trees. Organizing own things. Carrying away heavy things. Only men or himself can do this.” (53 y.o., part-time, has children)

“Shopping. Buy in bulk and have bags carried.” (54 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Maintenance of high places. I'm not good at it.” (35 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Cleaning in high places. Because I'm short.” (48 y.o., education, no children)

#5. Laundry

The laundry category accounts for 5.6% of responses. Participants cited the chore as being tiresome and time-consuming:

“The washing up. It's a hassle.” (51 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Washing up. My hands get so rough.” (31 y.o., part-time, no children)

“Laundry. It's so tiresome.” (45 y.o., company employee (full-time), has children)

#6. Tidying up after a meal

Some women also wanted their husbands to help them clean up after meals and put the dishes back in place - 5.6%:

“Cleaning up after meals. It's hard work.” (47 y.o., self-employed, has children)

“Washing dishes. Because he washes them more cleanly than I do.” (50 y.o., housewife, no children)

“Cleaning up the dishes after meals. When he comes home, he doesn't move from his place. I wish he would at least take the dishes down.” (54 y.o., housewife, has children)

#7. Taking out the trash

Taking out the trash seems troublesome, so some women responded that they would be happy for their husbands to take over this responsibility, 5.6%:

“Garbage disposal. It's troublesome for me to get there.” (44 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Taking out the trash. Sometimes when I work, I have to leave early in the morning.” (55 y.o., part-time, has children)

“Garbage disposal. It's heavy.” (43 y.o., housewife, has children)

#8. Toilet cleaning

The other specific task associated with housekeeping assistance was cleaning the toilet, 3.7% of responses:

“Cleaning. Toilet cleaning” (48 y.o., self-employed, has children)

“Cleaning the toilet...because I hate it the most.” (39 y.o., part-time, no children)

Other answers include:

“Massage. There are some areas where I can't do it myself.” (49 y.o., company employee (full-time), has children)

“PC work. Because I can't do it myself.” (49 y.o., housewife, has children)

“Taking care of the dog. He doesn't even go for walks.” (55 y.o., part-time, no children)

“Everything. Because he doesn't do anything.” (44 y.o., part-time, no children)

Overall, survey responses indicate that women would like their husbands to be more involved in the household and provide more support. By working together as a team and sharing responsibilities, couples can build a stronger and more fulfilling partnership. It is very important that husbands understand and appreciate the efforts their wives make every day and provide support when needed. Even though women who had children were answering about the household contribution too, but no answer include the need for help with childcare.

Last words from Ringi

In conclusion, although the results of this survey are not representative of all Japanese women, they provide valuable insight into the challenges many women face in their daily lives. By listening to the needs of their partners and working together, couples can create a stronger, more supportive partnership that benefits both parties. If you want to build stronger relationships and supportive partnerships, start from the simple steps as getting know about the practices and tips in Ringi app.

Why not upgrade your relationship with Ringi, an AI app for couples?

• Yerkezhan Karatayeva
• Minae Yonemura